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I’m not really sure what to say when someone asks me what my type is anymore. I’ve dated all over the spectrum, and as such I’ve bent the rules and lowered my expectations in the name of depression, desperation, and pity. But I’m putting a stop to it and putting fourth a definitive type.

MUST BE

• At least reasonably intelligent.
• Physically attractive.*
• Somewhat funny if not fucking hilarious.
• Open minded.
• Passionate about something.
• Nice to me.
• Adventurous or somewhat spontaneous.
• Into me.

MUST NOT BE

• Stupid.
• Unattractive.
• Boring.
• Verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive in any way.
• Bigoted.
• Narrow minded.

IT HELPS IF

• You’re Asian.
• You’re a nerd.
• You’re a romantic.
• You’re into literature.
• You’re kinky.
• You’re into BDSM. 
• You have interesting taste in music.
• You have the Raymond Tapia stamp of approval.
• You have the Adam Sosa stamp of approval.
• You have the Shelly Garcia stamp of approval.

*I mean this in a subjective way. That is to say that you’re considered attractive/unattractive by me, not that you’re necessarily ugly or supermodel perfect.

And by that, I mean gratuitous GIFs.

Context? What’s that?

^

A’ight.

Ah, I feel so much better